Conflict

There are those who think that life should be completely without conflict, but behind every remarkable man or woman there are stories of great conflict. These experiences have taught them principles that have made them wise.

As we grow as a person, new ideas are created and from these ideas many new opinions are formed. As we present these ideas and opinions to others, they don’t always understand us or agree with us. Often conflict arises as our ideas clash with other people’s ideas and opinions. A major part of our lives is spent learning how to present our ideas and how to react to the ideas and opinions of others. As we deal with this conflict and often the tension that accompanies it, we should become better people, for through it we discover our strengths and weaknesses. It is through the gift of reasoning and choice that we grow and overcome conflicts.

Conflicts can make us better people or make us angry at life. We can be humble and thankful and allow it to improve our character and teach us a lesson or be critical, haughty and arrogant. It is not wrong to have conflict and we shouldn’t be afraid of it. In fact we can’t grow or make progress without it. Most new ideas are initially rejected as they conflict with comfortable old habits. Change is not always easy and some people will never change.

As we allow time for an idea to mature we can avoid turning conflict into a war and consequently separate us from important relationships and associates. It’s good to prepare for the conflict, for without preparation we can’t win. We must be careful when we win, because it is easy to become proud and boastful. Sometimes we learn more from losing than we do from winning. What we learn will cause us to grow in understanding so we can improve and in turn win.

1. If we have a good attitude during conflict we will learn other people’s perspectives to problems.

2. We will discover our own strengths and weaknesses. Dealing with conflict requires creativity, reason, and discernment to overcome and resolve the issue.

3. When we accept that conflict will always exist, we will have a better approach and outlook towards those that we are in conflict with.

4. We will grow and progress as a person and become problem solvers rather than complainers and whiners.

5. If we have the right attitude toward a conflict we will avoid wars and preserve and even improve our relationships.

1. See winning and losing as progress and not reason to be negative about our lives or the lives of others.

2. Don’t brag when we win the day. Be discreet when you win or lose. Be responsible in both cases.

3. Be committed to humility especially when you win the day. To always be right can turn you into a proud person; you can win a discussion but lose a friend.

4. Prepare yourself for conflicts, knowing that you should and need to get involved. Don’t lose the perspective that we always have to be ready for what comes our way in life.

5. When at all possible talk through conflicts face to face. Try to avoid using written correspondence to resolve issues.

A father took his son to a boxing match. The son noticed that one of the boxers knelt down and prayed in his corner. The son asked the father, “Will that help him?” “Only if he is prepared to fight” replied the father. Likewise, we must be prepared and not allow others to run over us or go unchallenged when something should be said. If conflict is handled in the right way, it sharpens everyone involved. The end result is we all improve and grow and stretch. All opinions and ideas should be challenged to test them to see if they are valid. When we test our ideas and motives by the plumb line of good values and principles, we will continue on the right path and show others the way as well.

Someone once said, “Conflict is so important to me that if there is none, then I create one!”

How do you feel around conflict?

Have the conflicts in your life made you a better person? Why or why not.

Give an example when conflict has helped you in life.