Boundaries

Trespassing is to go beyond the limits of what is morally correct, or to transgress, or intrude beyond the pre-established parameters. Since trespassing means going beyond the limits, then there must be parameters or boundaries to live by. If the boundaries are not clearly marked, we may trespass and not know it.

If a company does not give us specific policies with clear job description and goals, employees cannot measure their performance. We can only measure that which is expected. Employees can only please their employers if the employer is clear with his expectations. So before we can have expectations, we must set clear goals with boundaries. This will give the employee a clear vision of what to do, and the freedom to work within these pre-structured boundaries.

If we expect people to treat us fairly, we must first be fair ourselves. To do this, we must have proper boundaries established for those around us. Our children will enjoy obeying us only if they know and understand our rules and our purpose. This makes them a part of the plan. We cannot discipline anyone based on what we think they should have known or they will feel we are unfair. No one enjoys performing without knowing what is expected of them. When performance is measured by expectations and both parties understand the purpose and the goal, most people cooperate with a good attitude. It will be ‘us’ rather than ‘them’, a company-employee team. These are not absolute laws, but for the most part people should have no doubt what we stand for and what we expect. This makes us predictable, and the game of guessing and uncertainty is over.

We will find that most employees will respect their leaders if company goals and purpose are communicated clearly. They may not always agree with us, but will still respect us. There are however a few rebels who oppose everything and everyone, they have no idea what is fair. Fortunately they are a small percentage of our society. If our families or employees are angry with us, we should ask ourselves if our expectations are too high or unrealistic. Are my boundaries broad enough to allow freedom and is my attitude right in administering them? If all of these areas are covered, there should be very little trespassing.

1. Your relationships are more fulfilling because the people close to you have the confidence of knowing what to expect.

2. Your subordinates can measure their own performance by the standards you establish.

3. Your leadership is respected when you set clear and fair boundaries.

4. A team environment develops and both parties understand the purpose and the goals.

5. Those around you enjoy life more when expectations are well known and the outcome expected and fair discipline is the same for all.

6. Trust and credibility are developed and uncertainty disappears since there is no need to guess at what might happen.

1. Evaluate your expectations with other members of the team; make sure they are not too high or unrealistic.

2. Keep your limits wide enough to provide freedom of action. Give people an opportunity to have input; but as the leader you must make the final decision and take responsibility for those decisions.

3. Be clear about your expectations and time limits; be precise when dealing with new ways and new possibilities of doing things. Criticizing people after you have given them authority will stop creativity. Criticism degrades people and makes them feel like they can’t do anything right; correction on the other hand is done in the spirit of suggesting a way that may be more effective. Think of this regarding your spouse, children, partners and employees.

4. Be moral while you are establishing, applying and enforcing boundaries. Make sure you are doing things in accordance to ethical principles.

As employees we should ask about the vision and goals of the organization, learn them, and respect and work under the authority of the leaders. As leaders we need to communicate our plans and purposes. This training begins in our homes and with our families.

If we communicate who we are, what we do, why we do it, what we want and expect from others, people will value our limits, and theirs will be respected as well. By establishing boundaries up front with people, they will be able to decide if they want to be part of what we are doing or not.

Do you find difficulty setting up boundaries with friends, workmates or subordinates? Why?

How can you set up boundaries within your family and workplace?

Have you been hurt by people who never noticed what they did to you?

What can you do differently to avoid being trespassed against in the future?